BLESSED ALEXANDRINAíS WRITINGS
The text we present this month is a colloquy (or ecstasy) part of which was sung by Alexandrina. There were several during 1953, but she had also sung during earlier ecstasies, particularly throughout 1938. There were times when she sang liturgical songs rather than impromptu offerings. Knowing that she was an excellent singer, these improvisations must have been a wonderful experience for those present.
16.10.53 - Friday
I do not move, I do not walk a step in my eternity. It was, it is and will always be the same, it is always in its beginning. How much pain, how many mysteries in this eternity! If I knew to speak about it! I know, I feel that the power and greatness of God is in it. The whole of eternity is God, it is all based on God. Like Him, it didnít have a beginning and will have no end. How great is everything, my God, how great is everything! If my ignorance allowed me to speak, if my blindness allowed me to see, if my uselessness didnít steal everything from me, I could talk and guide, be useful in the Lordís service. But I am nothing, I can do nothing, I am worthy of nothing. I see in myself sin with all its malice; I am a world of vices, I am a hell of hatred and rebellion against the Lord.
Oh my God, oh my God, donít fail with your help! Poor me, for my soul to be in the state that it is without your strength!
I suffer the pain of your loss, but my rebellion and hatred against You doesnít cease. Save me, Jesus, save me, Heavenly Mother! Only your strength and the love of your Hearts supports my cross. I feel that I am abandoned by Heaven and by the earth. Thorns, varied and numberless, pierce me. The weight of humiliation crushes me, makes me disappear. I have to hide so many things, so much pain, suffering them in silence, with eyes only on You, and on You abandoned. There is no wiser man than he who attempts to understand the pain. And no more charitable man than he who has compassion for it.
Lord, Lord, my Father, without any feeling of confidence or hope, I still trust and hope in You. I am your victim.
I sold my Gethsemane and my Calvary. These were my feelings yesterday, when prostrated on the soil of Gethsemane. I sold Christís merits and Blood; I sold my salvation and I opted for perdition. I sweat blood, which irrigated the soil. Later I tore off my dresses and with this gesture I tore the heart of someone who was within me. Today, on the journey to the Calvary, I had the same experience, and I sold everything that belonged to Christ. His pain was infinite. And I dragged Him a long way, a very long way on the ground and I ripped His Heart. I came to the end of the mountain, or rather, my evil arrived at the point where it was ready to crucify Him. I continued with my betrayal and cruelty. I did nothing else but to hit Him and offend Him. It was then that He expired, gave His live for me. And this time the love of His divine Heart plunged, and spread itself among all mankind. It was as if I was dead too, as if my spirit was separated from me. But not for long. Jesus hastened to give me life and spoke to me thus:
- I came to bring peace to the world. I give you peace, my children. I give you my love, all the love of my divine Heart. I came down, I came down, I entered this pure heart. It is pure because it has the grace and delight, because I delight myself in it. Be vigilant and alert. I came down from Heaven, I entered this heart, not for this heart alone, but for all your hearts. It is through this channel that I communicate Myself to you. It is through this victim that I give Myself to you. I came down, descended for souls and not for you alone, dear spouse. Your colloquy is pain. The life that I give is a life of forgiveness and love. Soon I am going to finish, I am going to finish, this wonderful prodigy, this wealth divine. The souls, the souls! Happy those who take advantage of the graces granted in this Calvary! The souls, the souls! Happy the souls who are guided by the light and allow themselves to be illuminated. If my colloquies were for you, only to you I would speak, as I did the first years of intimate life of union with you. Forward, forward, heroine, forward, dear lover of souls, sentry of the tabernacle, beloved crazed by the cross! Courage, courage, the Lord is with you, even if you do not feel Him, even though you almost persuade yourself that He has fled. Your life on earth increases the halo of your cross in heaven. It will be a resplendent cross, a triumphant cross, a cross of salvation.
Courage, courage, my daughter, the purpose of your life on earth is to save many more souls. Your indescribable torment, your incomprehensible punishment is a healing and salvation for millions and millions of souls; balm for their wounds, salvation for their souls.
- O Jesus, O Jesus, I do not know how to live! ... Do not allow me to lose confidence in You. Do not let me weaken. Console Yourself, console Yourself, Jesus, with the salvation of so many souls, as You have said. I am your victim, donít withdraw your help, Lord. I am your victim. I trust you.
- Trust, trust, strong heroine! Trust, lighthouse of the world! Trust, tool of my Father! You will persevere to the end. I have promised you perseverance. Again today I renew the promise. You will persevere, you will persevere to the end. In the middle of your faults, where I hid Myself, you were always faithful to my graces, you corresponded to my love. I created you for souls and your noble mission will continue in Heaven. The fire of my love for you will be given to the world, even from paradise. Come and receive the divine drop of my Blood. There was the shock, the big shock of our hearts. As usual they joined each other, that of Jesus to that of his spouse and victim. A drop of Blood passed. Passed the pure divine food that makes you live.
Ler there be light, let there be light. Let light appear! Listen and respond to the order ofÖ (In a strong voice, she sang these phrases in a very beautiful tone:)
ago I knocked
to Me, my son,
to the Heart, come to the Heart of the Lord,
Do you want to leave me, do you want to leave me, my love, do you want to leave me this way? Blessed, blessed be you!
- Courage, my daughter, it is more light, and will be given until the end of my colloquies. Courage and stay on the cross. It is further proof of my love.
Courage! It is more an invitation for men; it is another light, so that light may spread. Speak to the world, speak to souls, speak to souls! Speak to the world, this is why you were you were created. Speak to souls, because you are the spokeswoman of Jesus. Speak to the world and invite it to penance, to prayer and to the amendment of life. Speak to the world and say that Jesus wants reparation.
- Oh my Jesus, forgive, my love, forgive the world, forgive the world. Forgive the world and donít forget my requests and all my intentions. Forgive, forgive.
Thank You, Jesus, thank You, my love.