FEBRUARY 9

If every day, waking from my light sleeps, I am steeped in great pain and sorrow, this suffering redoubles on Fridays. I have no words or wisdom to explain it.

When I woke up today, I felt very, very tired. It seemed to me that my hair was soaked in blood. My clothes, too, were drenched and stuck to my body. I was alone in a dark prison. I felt the pain of abandonment in which those who were dearest to me had left me. Where were their promises not to abandon me? All this is a book of very clear letters that I have written in my soul; they are not things of my imagination. Oh, how many times have I tried to distract myself, to see if this soul-suffering disappears! What a big mistake! It is a deep wound, it is a pain that is very much alive which only Jesus or the Heavenly Mother may soften.

Then the demon came in front of me as a wolf and a lion doing horrific things. I trust that I have not sinned, because I trust in Jesus' promise of not letting me sin. If it were not so, alas for me! The evil demon! What a great school of sin! I just wish souls knew his diabolical tricks and so not allow themselves to be deceived by him.

With the visit of the Blessed Sacrament, with the warmth of His divine love, which filled me abundantly, I revived a bit. The comfort that He gave enabled me to walk the path of Calvary during the morning.

Even then I was so mistreated! I fell so many times with the weight of the cross and was dragged back much of the distance with the rope. I fell with my face to the earth, and my flesh remained on the stones into small pieces. All this suffering overpowered my heart; it was a suffocating grip which took hold of my life. On the cross, abandoned by all, listening to the greatest iniquities, I felt great drops of death sweat running down my body. They gathered up the drops of blood which fell from my head and my wounds in abundance. I felt great sweetness in suffering because it was the currency of souls, but I was not able to smile. In this abyss of pain, Jesus came.

— My daughter, I'm on my throne, in the palace of my kingdom. Is the King of Heaven united with his queen, the queen of the earth. Here, yes, my beautiful dove, here I'm not hurt, I'm well in the heat of your love, here my divine Heart is carefully kept. The sentinel of your palace is your purity, the guards are your angelic virtues, the ammunition of your weapons is your love. These weapons will extend the fire of their bullets to the ends of the world. It is not a death fire, it is a life-giving fire, a fire that attracts hearts and souls to my Divine Heart. You are a sea of immense wealth, you are a port of salvation.

When you are in heaven, before the throne of God, and petitions in favor of sinners in danger arrive there in your name, when your voice is heard - "Father, I want that sinner to be saved" - at the same time he will feel the touch of grace; by you, all will be saved. You will be a very fine gold wire that holds them to me forever.

— O my Jesus, since in Your infinite power and goodness you will make me so powerful in heaven, make it so that already, here on earth, all sinners I nominate might be converted and saved.

— Ask, ask, dear daughter, you are powerful. Commend all those you want to my Divine Heart. Your life on earth is to benefit the same earth, to spread good on it. Your life in Heaven will enrich the world, will be to bedew it with the balm of purification and salvation. Oh what a wealth I have to give you in heaven, so that you can distribute it on earth. Already here, and then there, you will ignite the fire of my divine love.

Listen, my beloved daughter, men - and he named them - are in danger of being lost. They are blind in their passions! They offend me so badly, so outrageously! Do you want to make reparation for them, so that they will not be lost?

— O my Jesus, I offer You everything, to comfort You, and to save them. Choose the reparation You want, grant me your grace and divine strength: with it I am ready for any sacrifice.

— Do you accept fifteen attacks of the devil more than you should have to suffer? Some nights you will suffer two such battles. Offer me five of the attacks for each of these men in honor of my divine wounds. I want so much that they be more loved and that my divine Heart be more loved. Spread, spread, burn the world with my divine love. Accept and give me one more match in honor of the sacred wound of my shoulder; offer it for the priest. He contributed so much to deepen it! Oh, how I suffered with it!

— Well you know, my Jesus, that the fights with the devil are the greatest sacrifice you can ask of me, but if I can give You consolation with them, if only they can make the reparation great crimes require, then here I am, Jesus, here I am, Love: I am your victim. I want to save these souls blinded by sin, I want to divert these cruel blows that come injure You away from Your Divine Heart.

— My dove, my dove, angelic flower, whiteness of grace, garden of delights, throne of love for my Divine Heart: I knock, you opened the door to me, I ask and I receive everything. Receive too in return my love, all my love. I love you as if there was nobody on earth or in heaven to love. Live my life, live the life of heaven here on earth, live it, so that you teach it, live it, so that people learn from you. Your Heaven comes, do not delay, quickly I take you with me.

Jesus caressed me, kissed me sweetly, while He hugged me and scorched me in the fire of His divine love. For a few moments I was happy; then I fell onto my cross and my heart quickly began to bleed in pain.

I remember so much the souls Jesus spoke to me about! But I think more of the priest who, being a priest, offends Jesus more deeply.