January 5, Friday
I need to write and I did not wish to say anything about what happens in my soul. I do it for obedience.
What a sad hour run to me, what great agony came upon my soul! I feel that many streets are bathed in my blood. I see so much anger and indignation. I'm so humiliated! My body is just like a wound. The blood of the head caused by the thorns bathe the whole body. Open arms I give myself to the cross, let myself to crucify. I'm in a continuous cry:
Father, my Father, and Thou hast forsaken me? I am your victim, I give myself to You for souls.
O my God, if I had will, I would prefer hell to this suffering and to the time of my colloquies with You. Yes, my Jesus, if I was in hell, instead of talking Thee and Thou with me, I wouldnít be afraid to deceive myself or deceive anyone and would not be so persecuted in the world. Forgive me, Jesus, my outburst! It is the horror I have to deception, falsehood, it is the fear I have of myself, is the fear of Fridays. If they disappeared and also I disappeared merged in Your infinite love! ...
Come all the suffering, come the cross, come the death, everything I embrace; I am your victim, Jesus.
From these sufferings I went to a lightís flood, peace and sweetness. Jesus took a lot to talk to me, left me for a long time to enjoy what was his. He told me later.
ó My daughter, full of grace, purity and love; my daughter, rich treasure of what is divine: you're full of grace, purity and love, you are rich of what is divine, because you have kept in you with all the care, diligence and love, what by Heaven was given to you. You responded to the grace, are full of grace.
My daughter, divine source, the source of all mankind: you are divine source, because in you there is all that is divine. You are the source of humanity, because it comes to you to drink and to purify itself; you pure water, are source salvation.
My daughter, hymn of praise, love and reparation. If you could see the praise I received, the fealty and angelic homage given to Me in Heaven because of the repair you gave Me, by souls you saved with the pain you left immolate yourself! It was a year full of love, it was a year full of salvation.
My daughter, angelic flower, treat of the divine Trinity, Maryís pampering, spoiling of the whole heavenly court: the pain you suffered embellished Heaven, is adorned with it, your pain is written in letters of gold and precious stones.
Is written also the ingratitude and wickedness of men against you and against my divine cause. Waits you a year full of disappointments and also full of joy, by you only experienced as sunshine that appears to quickly hide itself among the clouds.
Donít be afraid, this is your life. It is life that gives life, giving love is pain. Do not worry about nothing see of what you did, about you suffered, about you loved. You didnít suffer, didnít give, didnít love because of you, you gave Me all. You canít see anything in the world, all went to the heavenly glory; everything is in possession of thy King, thy Spouse. You will see everything, when you have your eternal meeting with Me.
Suffer all, accept everything with joy. Hit your white wings, your wings of whiteness as the applied dove flies away to search food that gives life to its children. You are the life of souls, the mother of sinners, the queen of the world, the queen of love.
My daughter, translucent mirror where all mankind will see itself and transform itself at your imitation.
I yearn, I long to see you in my homeland, so that the whole world knows and learns in your life, my daughter, sacred school of the divine sciences.
Courage, life giver of life, pain giver of love. Receive my divine love to raise yourself from your faint and to receive the life of you live.
My heart received an infusion of love, felt the pains He had to see me in Heaven and felt the tributes that the angels sang to Jesus singing to Him an extended hymn of great praise and thanks.
much it cost me to separate myself from Jesus to live here.