SENTIMENTS OF THE SOUL
1945

March 3, first Saturday

 

Tonight, I do not know at what time, the devil appeared to me dressed as a priest with a cassock down to his feet. He was big, very big, fat - like a monster. He crossed in front of me, but he did nothing except made me feel as if my bed had caught alight; it seemed as if the flames were spreading beneath me. It made me shudder with fear.

I want what Jesus wants, but if I was to have a choice, I would prefer this a thousand times to those other tricks he uses. I feel my whole body torn and bloody, the thorns penetrate my soul, heart, body and whole being. I cannot open or close my eyes without thorns, I cannot think without thorns, I cannot move myself without thorns. My bed and the room I live in are thorns and everything is bathed in blood. My poor heart bleeds in pain! And my lips seem to be closed, I am not able to groan. I die, I die muffled.

Burdened with this pain and sorrow, I did my preparation for the visit of Jesus to my heart this morning. Remembering that it was the first Saturday caused me so much grief that made me think like this:

My Jesus, I cannot live without doubts. What fear I have! Behold my concerns, have pity on them! I do not want to deceive; Thy divine love, souls, these alone are enough for me, my Jesus.

When the time came to receive Him He entered my room As Jesus came in, it seemed to me that people stuck a dagger in my chest and it was piercing my heart. I craved, craved to receive Him, but the fear I had, the horror of ecstasy, is inexplicable.

Moments after Jesus came down to me, I began to feel His divine presence and my heart dilated. My chest seemed to expand, while my heart swelled. My loving Jesus began to say to me:

- My daughter, I want to dilate your heart. I want to make it big, as big as my divine love. Receive it in all its abundance, wrap it in the world that I have deposited in you. Transform it into my divine love.

I gave you and continue to give you my divine love; I offered you the world, of everything I want only one thing: I want love, only love. I redeemed you with my blood, you're the new rescuer of mankind. I chose you to continue with me the most beautiful, most sublime work, the work of redemption, the salvation of souls.

You are Christ crucified, you are portrayed in Me. When I created you, I saw all that in you; now I have have chosen you for the most sacred, most sublime, mission, one that is most dear and pleasing to my divine eyes.

I was listening to Jesus but I lacked that light, that joy and consolation which I almost always felt. I said to Him:

- My Jesus, every time I have more doubts and I'm convinced that I'm wrong. How sad! What darkness and fear I have of Thee!

- No, my angelic white dove! No, my pure, my beauty and enchanted one of heaven! You were never wrong. Do not fear, I never allowed it. This was exactly what I asked you for yesterday. I rejoice and comfort Myself with that joy that you ought to receive from Me. You don’t begrudge me this,  do you?

- I would chose death and hell rather than  grieve Thee, my Jesus. I am your victim, I am your slave.

- You are the sun, the bright, golden sun that breaks the clouds to shine upon the earth. Here are the thorns that hurt you, they will fall upon you continually, you shall live among them, among them you will die.

You are the sun, you are the cloud, the black cloud that scares. The sun is for the world, the cloud is for you, it is yours.

You are the downpour coming out of the clouds and you give to the land the rain of love, pearls of virtues.

You, my daughter, are walking along the last paths; you are approaching your end in this exile; approaching eternal life, your real life. Heaven awaits you with all joy.

Say, my daughter, to your dear Father that the abundance of my love is continually showered upon him, I promise him all my graces for all his works.

Tell him that these are the ways of those who are dear to me, the paths of my elect ones. He comes close to you to finish your mission.

I promise a miracle, if it is needed. Promised punishment to the Company for causing him so much suffering and for oppose my divine cause. I promised and I fulfilled that promise. Why do they worry whether it is so or not.

Tell your doctor that he is carrying out his mission, the mission that has been given to him: to take care of your body, to take good care of it. Taking care of you is taking care of Me, working for you is working for Me, it is performing miracles with Me.

Tell him not to allow himself to sleep and make known that neither he, nor those who take care of my divine cause sleep. It is my cause, it will triumph.

But it is necessary that he speak humbly, yet he must not be timid.

Great is his reward; abundant, very abundant are my divine graces and my love for him and all that are dear to him.

Come, my Mother, come to give our life, our love to this little girl. Come to this darkness, come to alleviate this pain.

The Heavenly Mother came. She took me in Her arms and drew mine upon Her most holy shoulders, hugged me, caressed me, covered me with kisses, while I received life and comfort from Her.

- My daughter, my daughter and spouse of my Jesus, your life is pain, your pain is love. Fill yourself with Me, fill yourself with Jesus. Give what you receive from Us to those whom you love and who love you. They will get from Us a measure of your love and of our love for you. Give them our wealth in your smile, in your eyes, in your angelic affections.

Courage, courage, you triumph with Me and with your Jesus!

Jesus pressed me between His Divine Heart and that of the Heavenly Mother.

- You are, my daughter, in the wine-press of love.

 

I was comforted, with more life, but steeped in pain and bitterness. Hours later, I felt again the Heavenly Mother to take me in Her arms and smooth my bitterness. I was encouraged but I was not relieved of my pain. I was among thorns, I was on the cross.

 

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